Nothing Short of Picturesque
by Marmalah
Summary: Nothing is ever perfect, but so long as they were happy, nothing mattered. To everyone else, they were picturesque. - A collection of drabbles, ficlets, and one-shots. Yullen.
1. Provoke

_Helloooo everyone. So, I'm here with this little... thing. It came to me while I was off of school for two months (aka like truant lololol). Honestly I don't even know what it is. It's kinda a collection of drabbles, ficlets, and almost-one-shots but not really long enough to be one shots. Or stories that I'm too lazy to upload separately. Judge me._

_There will be a separate summary for each drabble/ficlet/oneshot/whatever, and also a separate rating. Which will be good for all of you that don't want to read a rated M story, 'cause you can just skip it. I have the general rating as T because most of these will be rated T, cause I suck at explicit scenes and such._

_By the way, I don't really like this one. I only chose it to be the first chapter because the last sentence kind of starts everything. I fail at life._

**Summary: There were no limits to how far he would go to gain Kanda's undivided attention.**

**Rating: T**

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><p><em>Ficlet #1<em>

**_ Provoke_**

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There was something about Kanda Yuu, Allen mused, that entranced him. Of course, these somethings were not always the most obvious, nor were they what most people considered when they were as caught up with Kanda as Allen was.

There were many reasons why he sought to get the Japanese man's attention. For one, he was… To put it bluntly – Kanda was beautiful. His eyes were smoldering and enchanting and Allen did everything he could to not get lost in them during their conversations (or, more likely, arguments). Allen thanked whatever god that allowed him those few seconds to just stare straight into those midnight blue orbs, even as Kanda yelled at him.

He had always wanted to run his fingers through Kanda's hair; he imagined it to be as smooth and soft as the most expensive silk he could think of, or maybe softer. He dreamt of it falling around him and encasing him like a curtain as he released it from its ponytail and Kanda kissed him.

Allen swore, no matter how hard he had to try or what he had to do, he would capture his attention. Pride or dignity was no longer an issue, and frankly, it didn't matter much to Allen anymore. No, he wanted Kanda to be as entranced by him as Allen was by Kanda. He wanted the Japanese to understand exactly how he felt, by any means necessary.

He wanted to get under Kanda's skin and he wanted to be the one to become close to Kanda because he would prove everyone wrong. Kanda was as heartless as he made everyone believe, and Allen wanted to make him feel something. It was a challenge that he was completely prepared to take on.

And so, let the games begin.

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><p><em>Yay, introduction chapters suck.<em>


	2. Not So Silent Night

_I decided to be nice since the first chapter sucked. So here's another one. I was actually planning to get this out on Christmas, but we didn't have wifi until like a week afterwards. So here's a very late, corny Christmas gift. I suck at comedy. _

**Summary: **Nothing was better than a Christmas with Kanda; but Allen was probably the only one who thought so.****

**Rating: T+ for a nice little make-out session. WOO.**

_P.S. I support the Allen-always-has-a-British-accent and so whenever I write him I imagine him having it. That's why I will write "arse" instead of "ass" or something... British-y._

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><p><em>Ficlet #2<em>

**_Not-So-Silent Night_**

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There was nothing better than Christmas with Kanda. They sat together by the fire and Allen drank hot chocolate while Kanda drank tea and they enjoyed the blissful silence. Allen was secretly thankful that they stayed silent; there was no arguing and bickering and they enjoyed each other's presence. Peacefully.

Allen snuggled closer to Kanda, who grunted and grudgingly put his arm around the boy. The fire crackled and snapped, and the Christmas tree glistened in the glow of the embers.

"Isn't this so… wonderful?" Allen murmured, slowly ripping his gaze from the flames dancing in the fireplace to look over at Kanda, who stopped reading only to glance at Allen out of the corner of his eyes and grunt. Allen pouted, but Kanda, who had gone back to reading, didn't notice.

"_Isn't this wonderful?" _Allen repeated a little louder, his happiness disgustingly sugar-coated. The smile on his lips twitched in irritation.

Kanda sighed and closed the book, though he kept his finger tucked between the pages so he wouldn't lose his place. "Yes, beansprout, this is fucking great. It would be better if you could just _shut up _for a minute so I won't chop your head off on Christmas Eve." Kanda raised one eyebrow at Allen, who had gone back to pouting. "You know Tiedoll would have my head if I chopped yours off, anyway." But then again, Kanda could always run away to another country…

While the older male was wondering whether it really was a good idea to behead Allen, the latter narrowed his eyes and stood up. If Kanda was going to be a jerk, he would play along, too; so Allen turned his nose up and walked off into the kitchen.

"Where there hell are you going?"

"What the fuck? You were the one who tried to get my attention in the first place, and now you're just gonna ignore me like some PMS-ing girl?"

"Motherfucker."

Allen couldn't help but snicker, because at this rate, Kanda was just talking to himself. He looked over his shoulder and smirked at him, before grabbing another packet of hot chocolate and dumping it in a cup. After putting the teapot, now full of water, back onto the stove, he went back into the living room to find Kanda reading his book again.

The boy frowned and sat next to Kanda, but this time, he paid no attention to him, even after he called his name. "Arse," Allen muttered, and poked the Japanese in the cheek lightly. No response. He did it again, but harder, and he felt Kanda's jaw clench.

"_What?"_

"Don't ignore me, it's Christmas Eve!"

"You were doing it first."

"That's because you're a jerk."

Sometimes, neither of them understood why they were dating. But Allen, who was no officially ticked off, pushed himself onto his hands and knees quickly and leaned forward, brushing his lips against Kanda's. As he was about to pull away, he felt an arm wrap around his waist and push him closer, harder against the other's lips, and he couldn't help the small squeak that escaped him – he'd always been ticklish, and this time wasn't an exception.

Allen tilted his head back to deepen the kiss, and the friction against his lips made him feel warmer than the fire beside him ever could. The boy opened his mouth willingly, and their tongues collided in a burst of cocoa and chai tea. He pulled back for just a moment, just to stare into Kanda's eyes because whenever they were like this – close, intimate, _together_ – there was something blazing in those eyes that enraptured him. He traced every sharp, beautiful feature on his face, before crashing his lips against the man's again.

Something in his chest clenched, and suddenly Allen wanted to smile the biggest smile and never stop kissing Kanda. He wrapped his arms around the Japanese's neck and balanced on his knees, and closed his eyes. _Nothing_ would ever make him want to let go.

A shrill noise broke through his dulled senses, and Allen's eyes opened wide. He broke the kiss and ran into the kitchen, leaving Kanda staring at him with reddened cheeks and a scowl.

"My hot chocolate!"

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	3. Lapse

_After this, I have roughly 9 or 10 chapters already typed up, so updates will be pretty quick (depending on how many reviews I get and such... ;p), but after that, the updates will be sporadic. Meaning that you'll only get an update when I get inspiration, which is pretty fucking random. Just giving everyone (? or no one... hahahaha I feel like I'm talking to myself) a heads up. Anyway..._

_Kanda is really hard for me to write sometimes, which is why most of these little thingies will be somewhat from his perspective. Kinda._

**Summary: **It always comes down to one moment, suspended in time, that we finally realize how one person can mean more than the world to us.****

**Rating: T+ for swearing. Lolz yeah that's it.**

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><p><em>Ficlet #3<em>

**_Lapse_**

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"You're just going to end it like this?"

"How else do you want it, Kanda? Do you want me to kiss you and realize that we're meant to be and just live happily ever after?" Kanda just scowled and crossed his arms.

Allen laughed lightly, obviously without humor. "I wish things worked out that way," he sighed and continued, "But I'm doing what's best for us."

"How the fuck do you know what's best for me, beansprout?" Kanda snarled, uncrossing his arms only to keep them lowered by his sides. His hands clenched into fists and his nails dug deeply into his palms. "If you 'wished things worked out that way', then make them. You have choices, you know."

Allen's sad smile faltered for a moment. "I'm taking a guess here. I'm pretty sure that if you were one for thanking people then you would do just that." He laughed again and shrugged. "I've run out of choices." Allen leaned back on the balls of his feet; he appeared calm and casual, but that was because he didn't want Kanda to see how much of a mess he really was. He was the one breaking everything off after all, and so he had to do his best to stay collected.

"Fuck you. You're an idiot and you don't know anything, so fuck you."

"What an intelligent reply. You've always had such a way with words," Allen muttered and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "I swear I was secretly dating a 7 year old." He saw Kanda's eyes narrow at the obvious force behind the word 'was', and he felt guilt eating at him, slowly but surely.

There was a pause–the silence was awkward and practically unbearable, unlike the comfortable silences they were used to. "_It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all._"

"What the fuck, beansprout?"

"It's a quote by Alfred Tennyson."

"I know what it is, dumbass."

"What was with the question, then?"

Kanda averted his eyes to the ground, and his voice lowered to the point where Allen had to strain to hear him. "Does that mean that you no longer love me?"

Allen jolted at the uncharacteristic show of such intense emotion, and his silvery eyes widened with shock. He felt his heart tighten painfully. "Yes," he murmured.

Kanda glared at him, his own midnight-blue eyes flashing with anger. "Quit lying to me, goddamnit." Allen gave him a quizzical glance. "Do you think I don't fucking know you by now? I can tell when you're lying. Your voice gets a higher and you barely make eye contact, like a stupid girl. Why?"

Allen pursed his lips, intending on not saying anything, until he saw Kanda raising his fist. _He's going to punch me? _He mused, raising one eyebrow but not fully believing it. And so Kanda punched him, hard enough for Allen to fall to the ground. He spit out blood, licked at the small cut inside of his mouth, and stared up at Kanda – who was seething and breathing hard in complete rage.

"I'm dying, Kanda."

To say Kanda was shocked was an understatement. He was beyond shock, and he felt his heart stutter and crumble as he stood, speechless. "What?" He asked dumbly, staring at Allen but not really seeing him. Allen gazed into Kanda's unfocused eyes for a moment before looking away, eyes downcast. "I'm dy–"

"I heard that, dipshit."

"I wasn't finished, BaKanda," Allen said fondly with a ghost of a smile. "Technically, I'm not really dying, just… Disappearing. The Fourteenth Noah is taking over my body and corroding the person that you know now as Allen Walker. He will take over my body and it will be like I no longer exist; so, in a sense, I am dying."

Allen expected anger from Kanda. He expected that he wouldn't get away without at least a few more punches – that was Kanda's default emotion, after all, and it was the one that had always come easiest to him. And so, anger was what he got.

"Why can't you just… fight it? Him? Whatever that… thing is, it's intruding on what rightfully belongs to you," Kanda hissed vehemently, his gaze burning into Allen's. The latter sat back on his hands, staring back up at Kanda to see what else he had to say. "Why the hell are you just giving up? What happened to the confident, annoying little brat with a hero complex? If you want to save everyone, you have to save yourself too you know!" Kanda continued ranting, pacing back and forth. "Or has he already started eating away at–"

Allen imagined, that if Kanda were to be any animal, he would be a cat. He could almost picture fuzzy ears atop the Japanese man's head, pressed flat against his skull, or maybe a tail; whipping back and forth in annoyance and fury. Allen smiled and shook his head. "–and what happened to keep walking? To keep moving forward? What happened to you?"

"Enough, Kanda." Allen murmured, holding up one hand with a shake of his head. "Stop. Please," he said again. "Nothing can be done anymore. I've already come to accept what's going to happen and you're just making this a hell of a lot harder. Yes, I lied."

"About what?"

"… Not loving you. I love you. But, this is the end. There's another reason I'm stopping all of this," Allen said, looking up with another sad smile. Kanda was beginning to hate those more than he ever had, because this time they were meant for him. "I hope that, when the time comes, you'll be… over me enough to where you would be able to kill me before I turn into the Noah."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Kanda sneered, "you're lying again, aren't you?" _Please tell me you're lying. Please, anything but this, _was what he really wanted to say – but he was Kanda and he wasn't really sure how to form those words.

"As much as I wish I was, I'm not. If… if you don't do this, I would end up killing you. That's something that I will never, ever allow myself to do. I don't want to lose myself so much." Allen sniffled, looking quite on the verge of tears, and Kanda itched to reach out, to do something to try to comfort him. He held back. "I don't want to endanger anyone else, either, but you're what is most important to me. Please, Kanda, I'm begging you."

_No, _I'm_ begging you,_ Kanda thought helplessly, but somehow, he found himself nodding. "Okay. Okay, fine, I agree, whatever, just stop. Stop crying, this is making this harder." His fingers twitched uncontrollably, but he crossed his arms to hide them.

Allen smiled slowly, and suddenly his teeth appeared in a smile much brighter than Kanda had ever seen before, because this time he wasn't holding back. So, Allen nodded too.

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	4. Beautiful Things

_Hola amigos. I suck. 3 reviews? xD Lolz. But no really, should I continue updating this? Just wanna make sure._

_Honestly, this is like my favorite one. I was gonna upload it later, but I wanted to do it now. If it wasn't so confusing every single chapter of this would be abstract like this one. I guess I just like the... vague-ness of it all. Hahahahaha. :p_

_By the way, never did a stupid disclaimer for this. And this disclaimer will be for the whole story because I forget to put it in every single one and it gets annoying. The lyrics used in this are **Desolate [The Conductor] by Woe, Is Me **and **1,000 Miles by Tyler Carter. **God I love him. And also, this is not a songfic. Don't fear. I used to love those and now I realize that a lot of them are stupid. And half of my old fics are songfics, lol. (Sorry, I'm rambling.)_

**Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man (or any song references). If I did I would die of extreme happiness because that's what I do whenever a new chapter is out.**

**Summary: **He** had to be right, because beautiful things knew what was also beautiful. He wanted to be beautiful, too.**

**Rating: T**

**Warning: Will possibly confuse you. If you have any questions, ask me in a non-anonymous review and I'll answer any you might have. :p**

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><p><em>Fanfic #4:<em>

_**Beautiful Things**_

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"Music," _he _said slowly, as if talking to a child.

"Music," he repeated, testing the word on his tongue while wondering if he really liked it at all.

"Music is able to say things that even words cannot explain."

"Silence can say even more than that," he retorted stubbornly.

_He _laughed. "You're such a grump, Yuu."

__- - - /__

"Music has saved me," _he _said, holding out a gloved hand. "Maybe it can save you, too?"

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_**Swear to God, I believe we've had enough trying to save the world.**_

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He was handed an acoustic guitar, and he scowled and plucked a string experimentally. The sound that came from it was ugly and he hoped he wouldn't have to play it.

"You're doing it wrong, Yuu."

He gritted his teeth.

"Would you like to learn?"

"No."

___- - - /___

He sat in the garden, surrounded by tulips and lilies and many other flowers he couldn't care enough about to name.

He played a few chords on the guitar that sat in his lap and winced. He wasn't sure he liked the sound of music.

"You learned to play?" A rose was stuffed under his nose, and he looked up and furrowed his eyebrows.

"I taught myself," he confessed and grabbed the flower. It took him a few moments to admit to himself that the way _his _white hair shone under the sunlight made _him_ look angelic and beautiful – and even then, there was no way he would tell _him _that.

He would forever associate _him _with roses, because all things beautiful should belong together, he supposed.

___- - - /___

It was the first time he had played a song, and he hated it.

"It sounds like shit," he said, preparing to throw the guitar anywhere that was far away from him, because he didn't want to look at it.

"It was beautiful," _he _said, and he faltered – because _he _had to be right, because beautiful things knew what was also beautiful.

Right?

"You're lying," he said as a test, to make sure that he knew what he was talking about. He stared at _him _and silently hoped that _he_ would say yes, that he was lying because he really hated that guitar.

"Of course not!" _He _sounded hurt, and he grimaced. "I loved it."

He frowned, and decided that maybe he would keep playing the guitar – because _he _loved it, and _he _thought that it was beautiful.

He couldn't help but wonder – did that make him beautiful, too?

___- - - /___

"Where did you get that guitar from?"

He scowled at the redhead, and he cursed God for making him meet this person, because he was exactly like _him _and yet not similar enough. "From… Allen," he said slowly, and just like before, he tested the word out on his tongue because it had been so long since he'd spoken of _him _and he wasn't quite sure if the name was really a name anymore.

"Allen?" The redhead repeated, and he refrained from hitting him, because how _dare _he say _his _name so casually.

He kicked at the ground and stuffed his hands in his pockets, averting his eyes to any place but the guitar that sat abandoned in the dirt.

"Is he a friend of yours?"

"Was," he corrected automatically, and bit his tongue. How long had it been now?

There was silence, and it told him that _he _wasn't here anymore, because _he _would never let any time between them go to waste.

The silence used to be filled with music. Always with music, and now he was thinking that maybe he was starting to miss the music, just a little, even though he hated it.

Now, silence was filled with more silence.

"Is it something you treasure, then?"

He started, not expecting the redhead to speak again, or at least not so quickly. He looked at the redhead, and no matter how hard he tried, couldn't remember his name. It didn't bother him as much as he thought it would.

The redhead was staring at the wretched guitar and his eyes narrowed. "No," he muttered finally, pursing his lips. "I hate it, actually."

The redhead blinked, not expecting the honest answer. "Where is he?"

"Gone."

"You mean… dead?"

He flinched and clenched his fists so tightly that he thought that he might just break his knuckles. "Don't ever say that. No, _he _left." His eyebrows furrowed. "To where, I don't know, so don't ask."

"Find him." The answer was quick and struck him, like a snake.

He wished things were as simple as the optimistic redhead made them seem. He looked up to the sky. The sun was peeking through the clouds, struggling to break through them, and he knew that later in the day the sun would be shining again. It would no longer be restricted by the clouds and it would warm up his body despite the chilly air. These kinds of days were always _his _favorite, because _he _was an optimist, too.

"I can't find _him_, because _he _doesn't want me to. And if _he _doesn't want to be found, then I can't find _him._"

Simple. Everything was horribly simple and yet horribly complex when it came to _him_. He wished _he _hadn't left him with this horrid guitar that made ugly music. He didn't want it.

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_**And wouldn't you say that the world has spit on you enough?**_

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He stared blankly at the guitar that was lying on the ground, and he reached over and plucked a string. He wondered why he wasn't satisfied when it didn't make a sound.

___- - - /___

The guitar was in pieces on the grass, and he stepped on the fragments of splintered wood and laughed. It was a cold sound and he contemplated where it came from and why his voice sounded as ugly as the music did.

Amongst the broken wood was a shredded piece of paper.

It was as if _he _knew – knew that he couldn't take it anymore, that he couldn't resist shattering what he had left of _him _besides the memories that wandered in his mind.

And now, he had memories and a small, ripped piece of paper.

_Come and find me, Yuu, _it said, and nothing more. He crumpled the simple piece of paper with the simple words.

Maybe he could find _him _now, because _he _finally wanted to be found.

___- - - /___

"This is like a twisted game of hide and seek, if that's what you want to call it."

___- - - /___

"I was wondering when you would finally snap and smash up that old guitar."

___- - - /___

_**Just a moment, give me just a moment, to clear my head.**_

___- - - /___

_He_ knew him better than he knew himself, it seemed.

It was funny how things worked out that way.

___- - - /___

"You found me, Yuu."

___- - - /___

He could faintly smell roses again.

"Beautiful," he murmured, and picked up a guitar.

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	5. The Homosexual

_I feel like I'm updating for no one. -_- _

_Oh, how I love my random mind._

**Summary: **In which there is a shirt, which should not be worn out in public – especially not on a male named Allen.****

**Summary: T**_  
><em>

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><p><em>Fanfic #5<em>

_**The Homosexual**_

_._

_._

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"… Are you serious?"

"What? There's nothing wrong with it!"

"You have your own _name _on a fucking _necklace."_

"And…?"

"That's so gay. Are you a girl or something? Come to think of it, you kind of look like one."

"Shut up, BaKanda, you look like more of a girl than I do!" There was a pause and silence stretched between the two arguing teenagers. "Which… is not a lot because I don't look like a girl…"

Kanda just raised an eyebrow and grunted, standing back to watch as Allen fingered through a section of shirts hanging off of a rack. Allen's eyes lit up and he pulled out a shirt, holding it up to his chest and turning to face Kanda.

"Doesn't this look nice?" The British boy questioned cheerfully with a smile.

Kanda closed his cobalt eyes and held two fingers to his temple. "Yeah, you're definitely gay."

Allen scoffed and quickly flipped Kanda the finger. "And you're definitely a jerk." He pulled the shirt away from his body and turned it around so he could take a closer look at it. "It's not _that _bad, is it? I like it…" Allen shrugged. "Sorry my closet doesn't consist of only band shirts and black."

Kanda crossed his arms and simply said, "You know that's a girl's shirt, right, beansprout?" As Allen's face paled, Kanda's scowl lifted into a smirk. The younger of the two fumbled with the hanger and quickly shoved the shirt back onto the clothes rack. "O-of course I did! Stupid Kanda!" By Allen's suddenly-reddening face, it was clearly obvious that he had had no idea. "I mean… Why would they put a skull on a girl's shirt anyway?"

Kanda took three long strides forward until he was face-to-face with Allen, and he pulled the shirt off of the rack again and shoved it to the British boy. "Quit stuttering, dumbass." He smirked knowingly. "The skull is _pink._"

Allen was stubbornly silent and averted his eyes to anywhere in the store that wasn't the article of clothing or Kanda. "I just thought it was an eccentric, colorful… boy's shirt," he mutter dejectedly, his whole face now beet red. "You're just saying that because _your _wardrobe contains… black… black… and uh, yeah, more black. You're all _colorless." _Allen made a vague gesture at Kanda, while trying – and failing – at defending his situation.

Kanda said nothing, but he wiggled the shirt and his smirk grew increasingly wider.

"You know what? Fuck you. Just… fuck you."

"No thanks, gay boy."

"I hate you."

"Glad the feeling is mutual. I don't really like you either. You're annoying."

And so, Allen and Kanda were promptly kicked out of the store moments later – along with Allen having to pay for a certain torn girl's shirt.

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><p>Allen stood in front of the mirror with a scowl, trying as hard as he could to pull the shirt lower over his stomach. "This is all your fault," he muttered, throwing a glare over his shoulder at Kanda who watched with the biggest shit-eating grin Allen had ever seen. "I wish I could punch you."<p>

"And why can't you?" Kanda crossed his arms in wait of an answer that he pretty much already knew.

Silver eyes narrowed. "Because you'll kick my ass," he admitted in a hiss. Sometimes he wondered why the hell he ever decided to hang out with Kanda, because – believe it or not – he really wasn't that great of a friend. "Let's just get this over with…"

The duo walked out of the tiny apartment and into the bright sunlight of spring, and immediately captured everyone's attention. Allen kept his gaze trained on the ground, but he said loud enough for only Kanda to hear, "I hope they think you're gay, too."

The Japanese only snorted. "Even if they do they won't think I'm as gay as you are. I'm not the one wearing a cropped girl's top."

"You suck so bad." Allen sighed and trudged behind Kanda. "I'm only wearing it because I had to freaking pay for it. You were the one who ripped it…"

"Oh, beansprout," Kanda chided with sarcastic glee, "quit making up stupid excuses and just act like the little gay boy you are."

"I'm just going to pretend the meaning of 'gay' to you is 'happy', because in that case, yes, I am a very gay boy. But not at the moment."

They continued walking, Allen silent in aggravation and Kanda in smugness. Every few seconds the short British teenager would try to pull the stupid pink skull shirt down, but it would keep riding up. "This should be illegal," he said under his breath and attempted to make himself even shorter.

"Oh my god, beansprout-chan! Yuu-chan!" And then both males were groaning in annoyance as a loud, eccentric redhead popped up in front of them. "Where are you guys goin'?" He questioned suddenly, giving each of them a blindingly bright grin.

Kanda's eyes narrowed and he muttered, "It's none of your business, stupid rabbit. Why do you always come out of fucking no where?" Allen just lifted a hand to his forehead, which also cause his shirt to hike up just below his nipples.

Just as Allen said, "We're going to a restaurant…" was when Lavi seemed to notice the younger's rather provocative outfit.

"Damn, Al, that's a little explicit for a restaurant." Before Allen could explain, Lavi continued. "I rather like it."

Allen's silver eyes widened and he blushed, looking over to Kanda who looked about as shocked as was possible, considering it was in fact Kanda. There was absolute silence, and Lavi raised his eyebrows and looked between the two.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kanda question incredulously, taking a few obvious steps away from Lavi. "That's fucking gross. Especially since it's the beansprout."

"H-hey!" Allen interjected heatedly, but he really didn't care because he knew Kanda was an asshole. He then shifted his attention back to Lavi. "Are you being serious?"

Lavi just shrugged. "Yeah, I guess… why?"

"You've got to be shitting me." Kanda glanced at the poor beansprout who was now the center of attention.

Allen gaped for a moment, and then blinked his eyes and shook his head. "You're crazy." He looked down at his shirt and tugged at it. "_This _is a shirt that Kanda ripped and made me pay for, and now he's making me wear it or else he'll never buy me food again. _Ever._ So I have to wear it." Allen's eyebrows furrowed as he kept his gaze locked on the shirt. "It makes me look so… gay."

Lavi burst into laughter, and Allen frowned while Kanda just rolled his eyes and glared. Lavi gripped his stomach tightly and wheezed, taking a few minutes to try and regain his breath before he spoke. "That… is hilarious…" He started with a few more chuckles before wiping a small tear from the corner of his eye.

Allen just leaned back on his heels, crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. He didn't see why Lavi thought this was so funny, but it was kind of pissing him off. Here he was, suffering for the sake of his lovely food, and Lavi was laughing at him!

Lavi finally stopped his laughter, and grinned at Allen good-naturedly. "At least you would be a cute gay guy."

"You're not helping," Allen said, deadpan, to which Lavi replied with a harmless shrug and a bigger grin.

"I'm surrounded by annoying faggots…" Kanda muttered with a sigh.

They all continued on to lunch, and eventually the incident was some-what forgotten – or, more likely, pushed out of Kanda and Allen's minds because of trauma. Or something.

That is, until two weeks later, Lavi asked to borrow the shirt.

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><p><em>Crap ending 'cause I couldn't think of anything. Review and I'll love you and update sooner.<em>


	6. Angel Dust

_Hola amigos. Thank you so much for the reviews, I finally feel like I'm actually updating for people! c:_

_I like this one but I don't. It's like mixed feelings. Don't hate it, but don't love it. xD Nothing much to say, so I'll just continue with the summary and such. It sucks so bad because I just couldn't think of anything. Hate my life._

**Summary: ****This was a snowball effect, and like most, it didn't start well and it didn't end well.**

**Rating: T+ for drug use! And strangers, yay!**

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><p><em>Ficlet #6<em>

**_Angel Dust_**

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"Help me! Kanda, Kanda, help me! Make them go away, make it stop!"

Kanda wasn't coming. He rarely came to help him anymore. Komui had a thing for sending him on mission after mission lately, leaving Allen to feel more and more alone. Then again, maybe it was better that Kanda wasn't here to see him. Allen didn't want him to see.

"Leave me alone… please, stop…" He could feel the hands crawling up his legs, poking and prodding at him.

This was only one of the minor quirks of PCP.

Allen of course had never considered himself a drug addict – because he wasn't. He could stop anytime he wanted to. He didn't _need_ it, he just _wanted_ it.

_(denial was such a frivolous thing)_

Of course, there were times when it scared him, but that was only a minor downfall. Anything that was a distraction became good enough for him – everything had its positives and its negatives. Allen understood that.

_**.**_

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_**.**_

_He could remember wandering, half-unaware of his surroundings and barely registering where he was. It was late into the night, and the signs from pubs and strip clubs provided enough lighting for the whole town. Allen knew he got lost easily, but this was ridiculous. Cross was going to kill him._

"_Really, this is just outrageous. I need a map." Allen stumbled blindly and cursed, peeking into alleyways in confusion as he tried to retrace his steps. Needless to say, it wasn't working. There were few people who were also wandering about, though it was past midnight, and they stared at him with raised eyebrows._

"_I think that boy is drunk." He heard someone whisper obviously, before laughing and pulling their friend off in the opposite direction. "Kids these days."_

_Allen just shook his head and scowled. __**One day, Cross, I will kill you. I promise. **__If it wasn't for the bastard being around (or in this case, _not_), he wouldn't have stayed out so late trying to find a bar that wouldn't question if he walked in there. He had to make money for Cross' debts somehow, and playing poker with a bunch of stupid drunk men was an easy method._

"_Hey, kid, you look a little stressed. You keep holding your head." Allen snapped up and he turned to stare at the man that had spoken to him. He looked a little mangled, and maybe a tad filthy, but it seemed as if that was as far as his bad qualities went. Still, Allen was cautious and gave him a wary look. "Have a headache?" The man questioned, and he either didn't notice or didn't care about the look that the boy was giving him._

"_Yes…" Allen replied, slinking over slowly to him. He just smiled and beckoned him closer. Even if Allen never really had any parents, he knew that he wasn't supposed to trust an odd stranger in the slums of a disgusting city, but maybe he could ask him for directions. He probably knew the city a hundred times better than Allen did._

"_Do ya need some aspirin? " And so, he pulled out a small capsule from his pocket, and the smile was back. Allen shook his head immediately; there was no way in hell he was going to take a random pill from a stranger. Did he think Allen was an idiot? But, seeing his reaction, the man just laughed. He knew why Allen was so reluctant. "Why do you think I would just __**give**_ _you drugs? If I was going to do that I would make you pay, because you definitely wouldn't get anything from me for free. Go on, you look like you need it, kid."_

_Allen stared, long and hard at the little tablet in the man's outstretched hand, and decided that maybe he was being sincere. Either Allen was too trusting, or the city was making him go insane. He took the pill, swallowed it dry, and managed out a quiet, "Thank you." The man just nodded._

_Allen continued down the street, completely forgetting to ask the man for directions. And, maybe if he would've paid a bit more attention, he would've seen the man's smirk as he began to turn away._

Allen honestly had no idea how he made it home that night. Staggering through an unknown city, high on a random drug given to him by a seemingly kind stranger, the odds were against him. It appeared as if they always were.

_**.**_

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_**.**_

Now that Allen looked back on it, he was such an idiot to accept that pill. _How _could he be so stupid? Everything had gone downhill from there. Sure, the drug wore off eventually, but that didn't mean that everything was fine and dandy. It was just the opposite.

_**.**_

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_**.**_

_Allen woke up, groggy and unaware of his surroundings. Where was he? Half-lidded silver eyes surveyed the room around him, and after a few moments his memory seemed to return to him. It was the hotel room that Cross was in._

_Something was wrong. It wasn't the fact that Cross wasn't there – there was something wrong with __**him**_. _Allen just wanted to curl up into a ball, or hide under the covers and never come out. He pulled the stiff material of the comforter up to his chin and peeked around the room. Everything was dark. Dreary. Sad. Sinister._

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**_._**

Allen collapsed back on his pillow, breathing heavily. Sweat dripped down the side of his face, mixing with steadily-drying tears. Withdrawals had always been the worst of it – worse than the scariest of hallucinations, even. It was almost the same thing, every time, and yet it was terrifying because he could anticipate it. Sometimes there were _things _trying to grab him and take him away, and others there were strange shadows in his mirror, perpetually grinning at him with only two bright orbs for eyes.

His left arm shuddered drastically, and he realized that he hadn't eaten in at least a few days; the Innocence was weak. He doubted he'd be able to activate it, and he couldn't find it in himself to care. He just wasn't hungry.

The looming cloud of depression hovered over him, like an unwelcome friend, and, like he had those many years ago, pulled the covers up to his chin and stared vacantly at the wall. _How did I get myself in this kind of mess? _He thought drearily. Thoughts drifted in and out of his mind with as much solidity as water, and he was unsure of how much time had passed. At one point, he thought that he might've fallen asleep, but at the moment he was on the verge of consciousness and unconsciousness. He was walking a tightrope, and yet he still had the mind of an apprentice, so now he was just waiting for the fall.

A knock awoke him from his partial dream-like state, but he could feel his limbs become suddenly too heavy to move, so he just laid there and waited for them to go away. If they were smart, they would assume that he was sleeping and leave. Instead, the knocking continued.

_Go away. _He didn't have the strength to speak aloud, and Allen was sure that they didn't have any telepathic abilities, but he didn't care. The knocking stopped, and he almost sighed in relief, until the door opened.

"Allen? Here you are, we've been looking all over the place for you. You missed dinner, and so we got worried." Lenalee's voice drifted over to him like a leaf on a steady stream, and Allen just snuggled deeper into his pillow. He didn't want food. He wanted to be alone. He wanted sleep.

"Are you sick, Allen?" Lavi's voice echoed Lenalee's, and there was a cool hand on his forehead. He wanted to push it away, to say, "I'm fine," like always, but the energy to do so escaped him. _I need… more. I have to get more, they're all gone. I have to get more, so that when Kanda comes home, I can welcome him. I need to be okay, for Kanda, because I don't want him to see me like this. I need–_

**_._**

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**_._**

"What the hell are you trying to say? That he's some… crazed drug addict? You're the crazy one!"

_Kanda…? _Allen awoke to the heavy smell of antiseptic and nothing but white. _Are you finally home, Kanda? _

"As a matter of fact, yes, I am."

Silver eyes snapped open, and Allen shot up to find Lavi, Lenalee, and the Head Nurse all staring at him, all in equally different ways. Lenalee looked scared, Lavi looked like a mix between angry and worried, and the Head Nurse looked disappointed. He didn't like any of those looks, and his recently wide eyes narrowed down to silver-gray slits.

"What's going on? Why am I here?" He demanded immediately, eyeing down the three other occupants of the room. He shook the IV dangling off of his wrist in emphasis, and made a move to pull it out. The Head Nurse just sighed, whispered something to Lavi, and left. Allen turned his hard stare to the redhead. "Well?"

"Is it true?" It was Lenalee who spoke up this time, shy and hesitant, but her violet eyes were searching and insistent. They wanted answers. "About… the drugs? Why?"

_Why. Why am I doing this? You know the answer to that question about as well as I do._

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**_._**

_Everything was like a void, eating him whole and leaving nothing behind. He wanted nothing more than to curl up and pretend he didn't exist. Or, better yet, not exist in the first place. Allen swallowed dryly, and tried to fight back a frightened sob. Images swam through his mind, shrouded in a dark cloud, and he couldn't tell whether they were figments of his imagination or if they were in fact real. If it was the latter, he didn't want to believe it._

_What was happening? What had happened last night? His memory failed him, and yet, no matter how many questions he asked, Allen found that he really didn't care. He could've been beaten, or raped, or killed, but he just couldn't find it in himself to feel anything. The tears that had threatened to spill over just moments ago suddenly dried up, and he felt absolutely nothing. _

_Allen knew this feeling, vaguely, and he could recall a time when it made up his whole persona. Back when he was only Red, living in the circus and getting pushed around and pummeled and abused, both physically and verbally, the same black cloud shrouded him – apathy, depression. And later, anger._

_There was a way to fix this, he knew, but it took him hours to finally get himself out of bed. This time, Mana wasn't here to help him. He was indecisive, but something rolled in his stomach – dark, disgusting, thick like rot and decay – and he made up his mind immediately. The only way that this would go away, that he would become normal again, was if he got more. He __**needed**_ _more._

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**_._**

For a long moment, Allen didn't answer her. He just looked past her shoulder, to something that even he couldn't see. His eyes focused and unfocused, and Lenalee looked frustrated. He sighed deeply. "Yes, it's true, but I'm sure you know that. Why?" He laughed; hollow, so unlike the one that he had faked too many times to count, and it surprised his friends. "Because I need it," he admitted in a whisper. "Without it, everything is just… too much. This is what I need to become normal. This is what I need to get through another day."

"No you don't!" Lavi hissed, stepping closer so that he was face-to-face with Allen. He just looked back, impassive. "You can be normal _without _them, Allen, I know you can."

He just sneered. "How do you know? None of you have ever known me without them." No one said anything, because they knew he was right. "Can I just… see Kanda? I need him. Please. Tell Komui to stop sending him on missions, I haven't seen him in months," Allen murmured, fisting the blanket tightly in his hands. He didn't want to be here.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the looks Lenalee and Lavi gave each other, which was then directed to him. "What are you talking about?"

"Kanda! Please, I just need to see him for a minute. That's all I'm asking. I miss him, so much…"

His friends just smiled, slowly, sadly. "But, Allen… Kanda is dead."

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><p><em>AW MAN. Cliffhanger. Kinda. I wanted the ending to be dramatic. By the way, I'm no drug expert or anything. And yes, I know that Allen probably wouldn't accept something from a random stranger or go back to it or do drugs in the first place, but this is an AU. So I can do WHATEVER I WANT :D Review, loves!<em>

_P.S. Angel Dust is another name for PCP. I did some research ;D_


	7. Prisoner of War

_I hate school. So much. I was planning on getting this out earlier, but since I only got one review for last chapter and I've had a shit ton of school work, I've been a bit busy. But here it is! Hooray for OOC-ness. And many other things. I don't even remember writing this._

**Summary: **No one considered him a prisoner except for himself.****

****Rating: I dunno. K+, maybe T. -shrug-****

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><p><em>Ficlet #8:<em>

**_Prisoner of War_**

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In a way, it was almost funny how he had lost his family in the span of a day. He had lost his blood-relatives and the ones he truly considered family, even though they had no relation at all.

Allen had killed his real family, and in turn he also lost the ones he loved. That was what landed him in prison.

Allen often kept secrets, and he knew one day would cost him his life. Today was the day.

Of course, Allen technically was the one that killed the Noah family. He admitted it, because it was too complicated to explain the truth. Who would believe him if, at the last minute, he told them he had multiple personalities? _Liar_, they would say, and kill him anyway. So, no matter what, he was screwed. No matter what he told them, he was going to die today – May 29th, eight days before _his_ birthday.

It hurt, sometimes, when he saw the other people going into the visiting area; picking up phones with friends and relatives only a few feet away. He wanted someone to visit him, because, believe it or not, jail got pretty lonely.

Whether it was coincidence or not, he got a visitor on his last day. And so, for the first time in a long time, he put on his fake smile, and then he picked up the phone.

"Hey, Kanda." _I've missed you._ "Long time no see, eh?" _Get me out of here._

Kanda looked the same as always – wearing a scowl and looking disinterested no matter what he said. "Beansprout," he murmured. Allen couldn't help but laugh. God, he hadn't heard that in months.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've kind of missed that name." Allen paused for a moment to study the man sitting across from him through the glass. "Your hair's gotten longer." Kanda looked at him out of the corner of his eye and grunted. "I get it. You've never been one for small talk, and I guess we have to make this quick." Allen's silver eyes flickered to the guard standing behind him. "Why are you here?"

"To visit you, dumbass, why else?"

"You've never visited before. Why now?" Kanda was silent. "Today is the last day, you know that right? Is that why you're here?"

"Yeah," Kanda said slowly. Allen just gave him a sad smile. "I… wasn't able to visit before. They wouldn't let me."

"No need to apologize, Kanda."

"I'm not apologizing."

Allen raised an eyebrow and subtly shook his head. "Uh-huh, sure. Whatever you say, Kanda." He half-rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but look back at the man sitting across from him. Their eyes met – blue clashed with gray – and he did everything he could to not cry.

Allen's hand slowly touched the glass. "You're so close… closer than I would ever imagine they'd let you."

Kanda's eyebrows furrowed, and he also touched the glass. He felt the warmth of Allen's hand, faintly, and wished that he could be closer. "Why's that?"

"I'm a murderer."

"Shut up, beansprout."

Allen laughed lightly. "You're so close, and yet I still feel so far away from you. I've really missed you, Kanda."

"Why do you keep saying my name?" Kanda interjected curiously, eyeing Allen before looking away again.

"Because this is the last time I'll ever be able to."

"Quit being so melodramatic."

"I'm pretty sure I have a right to be if I'm going to die, you know. Do you expect me to be ecstatic? You never cease to surprise me." Allen laughed again, but he stopped abruptly. "I need to tell you something, and I'm not too sure you'll believe me."

"Just say it then, you idiot," Kanda said, and though his words were harsh, his eyes had softened.

"Technically, I wasn't the one who killed them," Allen whispered through the phone, and after a few moments of silence he wondered if it really had been smart to act on his instinct – which kept screaming at him to tell anyone what had been eating away at his conscience for months.

Allen jumped in surprise when Kanda slammed a fist on the table, and he looked up to find piercing blue eyes glaring at him. He could see many things in those eyes, but what he didn't expect were the beginnings of tears. _There's no way that he would ever let them fall. He's got too much pride, _Allen thought.

The glare flickered from Allen to the guard standing restlessly behind him. She noticed his stare, and with an irritable frown, tapped her watch.

"There isn't much time left," Kanda said quickly, and his voice was laced with obvious irritation. "They don't know that? Allen!" The use of his name caused Allen's eyebrows to furrow, and he jolted. It was weird to be called by his first name, too, because he had been so used to answering to _Walker _since he'd arrived. He stayed silent. "They are planning on _killing _you for something you didn't do. You're going to let that happen?" Kanda sounded absolutely furious, but there was an underlying sense of anxiousness. Allen wanted nothing more than to break down the wall of glass and hug him.

"If I told them at the last moment that I didn't do it, when I already admitted to murder in court, do you think they would believe me?" His answer was silence. Kanda was glaring at him and holding the phone so tightly in his hand that his knuckles were as white as paper.

"Exactly," Allen said slowly and nodded.

"Idiot," Kanda muttered, averting his eyes and trying to look anywhere but at Allen's face.

"Your time is up, kid." The guard grabbed Allen's shoulder, none too gently, and pulled him from the seat. The phone that was previously in his hand clattered noisily to the table.

He looked over his shoulder and his smile was almost nonexistent. "You're talking about my life, too, right?"

Again, there was silence, and he almost found it funny that she didn't respond to him when she had probably led many people to their deaths in her lifetime. Silence spoke volumes – much louder than words ever could. "Alright," Allen nodded once more, looking back to Kanda who was staring at him sharply from underneath his bangs.

Allen picked the discarded phone back up and brought it to his mouth, and his smile was suddenly brighter than Kanda had ever seen it before. "I don't know if I've ever told you this before, but I kind of love you, if you haven't noticed."

He set the phone gently down onto its receiver and allowed the guard to steer him away.

"Beansprout! _Allen, _wait! Tell them the truth, goddamnit! Tell them you're not a murderer!"

The guard snapped the handcuffs back on his wrists and looked down at Allen impassively. "What is he talking about?"

Silver eyes flickered to Kanda – the molten mercury pools glimmered gold, and Kanda hissed – and then Allen looked back up to the woman holding his shoulder in an iron-fist grip. "I have absolutely no idea."

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	8. Valentine's Drama

_Guys, I am so sorry this took so long! We've been moving a lot this week, and for whatever reason my internet has been sucking major ass lately (I'm stealing someone else's at the moment, and I'm not sure how long it's gonna last), so I've been catching up and watching all of the seasons of Supernatural. If anyone who reads this likes that show, I AM IN LOVE IT IS MY OBSESSION OOHHH MY GOD. So I'm gonna have a small one-shot thingy of that coming out soon, for anyone who's interested._

_Anyway, if there are any typos here, I'm terribly sorry, but I just wanted to get this up before the internet goes out again. So if there are typos or grammatical errors or whatever, tell me in a review and I'll fix them ASAP. This should've been out last Tuesday, but like I said, sucky internet. Sorry, but I hope you guys like it! _

**Summary: **No matter how much Kanda wanted and pleaded (silently, of course), Valentine's Day always popped up on the calendar. Today was no exception.****

****Rating: T****

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><p><em>Fanfic #8:<em>

**_Valentine's Drama_**

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"Every… damn… year!" Kanda growled as he slammed his locker shut, which was overflowing with paper cut-out hearts of all shades red, purple, and pink – in another stuttering girls face. But, this wasn't just any girl; this was Lenalee Lee, a girl who had not only been able to befriend Kanda (not that he would admit it), but she was also the principal's little sister. And that principal, Komui Lee, had a sister complex. And he was just plain crazy.

"B-but, Kanda," Lenalee pleaded, staring at him with wide, watering violet eyes. "I love you!" Kanda just crossed his arms and turned his head away.

"Quit fucking with me," he scoffed. "I get enough of that shit throughout the year, and today is always the worst." As he turned back to the girl, her tears immediately dried up and she grinned.

"I'm just messing with you, Kanda, calm down."

"Wasn't funny."

"It was to me." Lenalee punched him playfully in the arm and his glare darkened. "Anyway, if you just accept me as your valentine, no one else will ask you. Problem solved."

Her eyes regarded him smugly, and he couldn't help but scowl. "No."

She laughed, and it sounded like wind chimes in a summer breeze. "It sounds like you like all of the attention, then. Either that or you're extremely gay and just trying to cover it up," she teased lightly.

Kanda rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He turned to leave and didn't listen to her protests. And then, he happened to run into another one of his fans, a girl of whose name he didn't remember because he honestly couldn't give a shit.

"Kaaaaaaaanda!" She sang loudly and stepped in front of him. "Do you wanna see your Valentine's Day matches?"

"No," he said bluntly, trying to move around her but to no avail.

She frowned, turning her pretty features in to ones… quite the opposite. "Why not? I bet I'm on your list." She attempted to run a finger down his chest, but Kanda stepped back before she could even get close enough.

"Exactly why I don't want to see it."

She looked offended, but continued her assault. "I'm not giving you a choice," she huffed, her hands on her hips. "So here, just take it." And so, a bright pink envelope that burned Kanda's eyes was shoved into his hands.

Deciding to just get it over with and shut the girl up, he ripped off the fuzzy heart sticker that kept the stupid thing together and made him puke just a little inside of his mouth. And then he just stared. And stared. And stared.

The idiotic girl snapped him back to the world, and Kanda couldn't tell if that was a good or a bad thing. "Well," she demanded hotheadedly, "Am I on there?"

Kanda didn't have to look at the paper again to tell her _no,_ because he'd already had it memorized. "Are there supposed to be guys on this shit?"

The girl looked at him with raised eyebrows, and Kanda could see her trying to hide her laugh behind a cough and a fist over her mouth. "No. Who is it?" She tapped her chin in thought, as if she actually thought she wasn't dumber than a sack of potatoes. "It's probably just a fluke. Is it that one kid you're friends with? What's his name… Rabi? Ravi?"

"That idiotic rabbit isn't my friend," he snapped automatically, instantly seething. Just the thought of Lavi made his blood boil. And, just like he'd left Lenalee, he sped off towards the cafeteria with the piece of paper crumpled in his hand. Once he arrived to his destination, he immediately spotted who he was looking for – he was hard to miss, with his white hair and mountain of food in front of him.

"Beansprout!" He growled, stalking up to the innocent boy, also known as Allen Walker. As the aforementioned sophomore turned around, Kanda promptly punched him in the face. Hard.

"The hell, BaKanda?" Allen hissed from his new seat on the ground while rubbing his cheek.

"Why the fuck are you always invading my life?" Allen just stared with one white eyebrow raised, and Kanda thought, _I wish everyone would stop staring at me like I'm a crazy drug addict. What's with this damn holiday?_

"What are you talking about? I haven't even talked to you today, arse."

Kanda shoved the heart-covered paper that was practically ripped to shreds into Allen's face, and it took the younger a few moments to read the ink, as it was so close to his face that it was tickling his nose. "Valentine's Day… date matches… for Yuu Kanda," he read aloud, his eyes drifting over the paper to try to catch what had Kanda so ruffled up. "Match number one… Allen Walker. Match number two… What?"_  
><em>"Yeah."

"_What?"_

"Sprout…"

"Is it real?"

Kanda held a hand to his temple and resisted the great urge to punch the kid in the face for the second time that day. "What do you think, dipshit?"

He received no answer, and he opened his blue-obsidian eyes to find that Allen was gone, and his mountain of empty plates left abandoned.

"… The fuck?"

And then Allen returned, waving a paper that was disgustingly similar to Kanda's own. "I got one, too, just to check," Allen explained to the senior's unspoken question, and though Kanda wouldn't admit it aloud, the kid was pretty smart sometimes.

"It's not that big a deal."

"Well obviously it is, since you came running to me with a look of pure Hell on your face, douche." Allen ripped open the envelope, and announced quietly, "It says… You're my number one."

Kanda threw the paper to the ground as soon as the words left Allen's mouth, and then he proceeded to rub his rough, calloused hands along his face. "What the hell," he muttered, and Allen nodded, though the Japanese man couldn't see it.

"Kanda, you ass, there you are!" Lenalee's voice interrupted the silence that was previously drowning them both. The man that was previously mentioned groaned as the Chinese girl stalked up to him, her violet eyes flashing in anger. "Thanks for ditching me."

"You're welcome," Kanda bit back sarcastically. "Quit PMS-ing like a little bit–"

"Kanda!" Allen intervened quickly with a squeak, stepping forward and mimicking the glare on Lenalee's face. "Don't say that!"

The raven haired boy automatically reached for Mugen, attached to his hip. "Alright, alright, damn."

"Calm down. You're like a… time-bomb."

"Shut up, beansprout."

"Oh, hi, Allen!" Lenalee greeted cheerfully, turning her scowl 180 degrees as she spun to face the white-haired boy.

"Bipolar," Kanda said under his breath, and Lenalee visibly twitched but didn't confront him. And before Kanda even noticed, the girl was picking up his previously discarded Valentine's Match paper.

"Your first match is Allen? How is that possible?" She exclaimed, clutching the paper and staring at it with wide eyes. _Here we go again, _Kanda thought with a silent groan as he felt the beginnings of a headache throbbing behind his eyes.

"That's what me and BaKanda were wondering."

Lenalee looked back up at Kanda, a large smirk stretching across her face as her eyebrows shot upwards. "I knew you were gay."

"How does that make me gay?" Kanda hissed as Allen decided this was a fight he would not interrupt. "I don't choose my fucking matches!"

The girl just shook her head, her shoulder-length hair bouncing around her face. "But obviously you're pretty gay to be matched up with a boy. These are based off of things you have in common and stuff."

"We're hardly similar. The beansprout is the gay one, he just corrupted my matches with his gay rainbow shit."

"Eh?" Allen froze as both pairs of eyes locked onto him. "I'm not gay!"

Both of the Asians smirked, and Lenalee put her hand on the British boy's shoulder. "It's okay, Allen. I used to have the hots for Kanda, too. Then I realized he's an ass. And he's gay."

"A gay ass," Allen concluded with a waggle of his eyebrows. Until the girls words sunk in and his face went from creamy white to a fiery red in seconds. "W-wait, I don't have… the hots for BaKanda."

The man that was currently the topic of discussion decided to step in because suddenly his dignity was at stake for possibly being the source of Allen's wet dreams. "Then why are you blushing like a schoolgirl?"

"No reason." Allen quickly tried to cover his face, but both of his friends had already seen his significantly brighter cheeks.

"Wow, Allen, I was just kidding. I didn't know you actually like him."

"I don't," Allen defended meekly, knowing it was useless to protest.

"Bullshit."

"Shut up, BaKanda."

"You're all bark and no bite, stupid beansprout."

"Well so are you!"

In a span of only two seconds, Kanda had Mugen clenched in his hand and pressed against Allen's throat. Allen could see the anger shifting through the other's midnight obrs, but he didn't flinch, even with the unfamiliar feeling of cool metal pressing into his skin. "How's this for an empty threat?"

Allen ignored the smug tone in Kanda's voice. He ignored the worried look that was so obvious on Lenalee's gentle face. He ignored the feeling of the sword sliding across his throat as he shook his head and looked Kanda in the eyes.

"You won't do anything to me." And of course, Kanda, being Kanda, took that in an entirely wrong way. "Are you mocking me?"

"No. I trust you."

The Japanese man visibly froze, and his grip of the prized sword loosened considerably. "What?" He murmured, his eyebrows furrowing in what Allen assumed to be a mix of confusion and irritation.

"I trust you, Kanda," he repeated, quieter this time. If there was one reaction he wasn't expecting form the other male, it was laughter.

"You're not supposed to trust me. Example one," Kanda said shortly, tracing the shallow red line on Allen's neck.

The British boy just shrugged. "At least I'm not dead." Allen wasn't sure when this had all went from a big joke to blurting out that _he _trusted _Kanda, _but he was starting to think that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing.

"You're too optimistic and shit. Happy fucking Valentine's day."

Allen blinked and looked closer at Kanda, his silver eyes wide. "Excuse me?"

Kanda rolled his eyes as if what he had said was normal. "My gift to you was not chopping your annoying head off. Now stop talking before I decide that stupid beansprouts don't need presents."

Allen opened his mouth in a silent, _oh, _and then closed his eyes and nodded. A small smile danced across his lips and he said, "Thank you, Kanda. Happy Valentine's Day… number one."

"Oh, fuck you. When I'm attempting to be somewhat… okay with you, you decide to be a bitch."

"It's just how I am." Allen grinned, and looked over to Lenalee, who he had forgotten was standing there the whole time, until he realized she wasn't anywhere to be found. "Where's Lenalee?"

If Allen looked close enough, he could've seen the color drain from Kanda's face. "Shit."

Later that Valentine's Day, Allen, Kanda, and pretty much the whole school found out that they were now dating and that the new "couple" were both out for Lenalee's blood.

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><p><em>Happy fucking late Valentine's Day (or Single's Awareness Day), guys!<em>


	9. Mykonos

_GUYS I'M SO EXCITED I'VE NEVER GOTTEN 17 REVIEWS ON A STORY BEFORE OMG OMG IT'S A RECORD ;_; *lame* Thank you all so much! I know it's stupid to get so excited over such a little amount of reviews (or at least little in comparison to the amounts I've seen on other pieces), but your reviews really do make me very happy. c:_

_So, this is a little AU type thing. Kinda. WHATEVS, just read to find out. I'm tired and I hate homework/school with the fiery burning passion of an iguana._

**Summary: All Kanda wanted was for Allen to remember him. That was all he needed.**

**Rating: T**

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><p><em>Ficlet #9:<em>

**_Mykonos_**

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He had been waiting for so long – too long, it seemed, for Allen to find him. It wasn't until only a short week ago that he was anticipating seeing him.

- - - /

"_You were in a car crash, did you know?"_

- - - /

"_Can you remember anything? You hit your head pretty hard…"_

"_Too much. I remember too much."_

"_About the accident?"_

"_No."_

_- - - /_

"_How long do I have to stay in this damn place?"_

"_Until you recover. A few weeks, probably. And then we'll take you–"_

_- - - /_

Kanda could remember the crash, of course all too well; bright headlights staring him straight in the eyes, metal scraping against metal and bending at all the wrong angels, the smell of burning flesh and leather.

Strangely enough, that wasn't what bothered him. Odd memories plagued his mind since the accident, and at first they started as dreams. Then, steadily, he would recall something at random points in the day.

Many of these "memories" included an odd white-haired boy who vaguely reminded him of a beansprout.

_- - - /_

"_Oi, idiot beansprout, if you just rush into battle like that you'll get yourself killed."_

_- - - /_

"_Oh, are you worried about me, BaKanda?"_

_- - - /_

"Good morning, Yuu. How are you feeling today?"

"I told you to call me Kanda or I'll kill you."

The doctor just pushed his already forced smile to stretch bigger, and if Kanda would've paid closer attention to him than to the perpetual blue sky, he would've seen the beginnings of a smirk on the doctor's face. "Right. Well, anyway, I have someone who will be coming to check on you from time to time. Be easy on him." And so the doctor left, leaving Kanda with an even deeper scowl than the one he'd woken up with.

_- - - /_

"Are you… Yuu Kanda?" Only the hesitant question had gotten his attention – Kanda ignored the knocks that had sounded on the door moments ago.

Kanda's cobalt eyes focused on the person at the door, and he froze. "You're… that idiot beansprout!"

The boy's eyes widened in shock, and he blinked repeatedly before asking, "Excuse me?" Kanda just glared at him, and so he said with as little annoyance as he could muster, "It's Allen."

_- - - /_

"What are you, twelve? Isn't that a bit too young to be working at a hospital?"

"For your information, no, I am not twelve, I'm fifteen. And again, no, I'm not working here either. I'm job shadowing."

"That's stupid." The Japanese man snorted and turned away.

_- - - /_

"So, where'd your scar go, beansprout?" Kanda sneered. It had been another agonizing week of the same boring white walls and boring white sheets and somehow wonderfully bright white hair – and two weeks altogether since the accident.

Allen, standing only a few feet away from him with Kanda's lunch, quirked one small, white eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Kanda stared at him for a moment, trying to decipher if Allen really had no idea what he was talking about. "The one on the side of your face; the left side." Allen subconsciously touched the side of his face slowly, waiting for the hospital patient to continue. "It… starts at your eyebrow, with an upside-down pentacle, and it goes all the way down to your cheek," Kanda muttered with a sigh, wishing he wouldn't have brought it up.

Allen pursed his lips and set the tray down on Kanda's lap. Giving one last, long look at him, Allen said, "I have no idea what you're talking about," and walked away.

_- - - /_

Another week, concluding to three so far, and it had been five days since he'd last seen Allen. Kanda would've thought that, if Allen had returned to school, he would've at least said goodbye. The stupid beansprout had always been too polite for his own good.

Then, Kanda thought that maybe he had scared him off, talking about their past as exorcists. Hell, Kanda had just remembered, and obviously Allen had no idea about what had happened in his previous life, so he probably freaked the idiot out.

Two more days passed, and, because curiosity was making him antsy, he called for his doctor.

"What the hell happened to the kid?" He demanded, giving the doctor a cold look.

"Oh, Allen? He… had a little accident, but he should be back any day now."

Speaking of the white-haired boy, he stormed into the room only a moment later. Giving an obviously forced smile to the doctor, he asked, "Could you please give us a moment?"

Once the doctor was out of the room, Kanda snorted. "Where have you been?"

"What, were you worried about me, BaKanda?" Allen shot back, and the familiar words made shivers race down the Japanese man's spine.

"Of course not. Why is your hand over your face like that?"

Allen immediately started shaking, and whether it was from anger or fear or a combination of both, Kanda couldn't tell. He dropped his hand and unwound the bandages wrapped around the side of his face. Snapping his head up, Allen glared at Kanda, tears shimmering in his silver eyes. "How… did you know?"

Doing his best not to reel back in shock, Kanda stared at the angry scar that now covered Allen's previously-flawless skin. "It happened six days ago," Allen explained slowly, as Kanda barely stopped himself from absentmindedly running his fingers over the puckered, irritated skin. It was as red as he remembered it, though at the moment there were stark black stitches holding it together.

"How?" Kanda questioned after a moment of semi-comfortable silence, tearing his eyes away from the wound to focus on the brilliant white wall in front of him.

"A knife." There was no more elaboration, so Kanda grunted.

"So it wasn't an accident," Kanda concluded, cobalt eyes narrowing.

"Considering it was my master, of course not. He's a bloody awful man." Allen sighed and wondered if he was saying too much.

"You're living with that bastard? There's no way he's fit to be a legal guardian."

Allen looked up in surprise. "You know my master?"

Kanda nodded reluctantly. "Cross? I can't believe you call him master, just like before."

"Like… before?"

"Just forget about it, beansprout."

_- - - /_

"Why can't you just remember?"

"What are you talking about? Remember _what, _Kanda? Ever since I met you, you look at me like I'm someone else entirely!"

The yelling stopped for a moment and Kanda muttered, "Don't you remember being an exorcist?" Allen shook his head quickly, backing away from the man lying in the bed. "Don't you remember… that stupid rabbit? Whatever his name was – Lavi? Or Lenalee?"

"Lavi and Lenalee are at school," Allen said, his eyes darting between the door and Kanda. "I haven't forgotten them."

Kanda felt a pang of hurt stab at his heart. _"I haven't forgotten __**them.**__" But he's forgotten me. _He couldn't help but admit that that hurt.

"What about the akuma, beansprout? What about me?" Allen just kept shaking his head. He darted through the open door and into the hallway, shouting what sounded like, "_doctor, doctor" _but Kanda didn't listen. Suddenly, he felt numb, because he knew that there wasn't a chance that Allen would ever remember him. "You said you loved me," he murmured, to the empty room and the bland white walls that suddenly didn't bother him too much anymore because he just didn't care.

"What's wrong, Allen?" The doctor ran in, but Kanda paid him no attention.

"Him. I think the crash has made him lose his mind. He's insane, Dr. Earl."

Kanda was frozen. _Earl…? The Millennium Earl? _His eyes quickly dragged up to peer at the man; but there was no sense of recognition whatsoever. When he thought of the Earl, he pictured a giant, fat man with an everlasting grin that made your blood run cold.

The doctor standing in front of him was skinny, with a small amount of facial hair dotting his upper lip and chin and wispy black hair.

Allen's words seemed to catch up to him, but he said nothing.

"So, you're saying this man belongs in an asylum?" Dr. Earl questioned, rubbing a hand along his chin in thought.

"Exactly," Allen assured him, not giving another glance towards the dark-haired man sitting motionless on the too-white hospital bed.

"Well… you always know best, Allen. From what you've been telling me past few weeks, he does seem quite unstable." The doctor was silent for a second, and Kanda held his breath. Did they really think he was insane?

"I'll call up that psychiatric institute. What was the name of it?"

_Hell, _Kanda answered silently, staring at the strange white-haired boy that he would only continue seeing in a past life's memories.

_**.**_

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><p><em>Don't get mad if the idea of job shadowing in a hospital and taking care of someone seems impossible. I have no idea what you do during job shadowing and such. xD It's an AU, just pretend it's okay.<em>

_P.S. the Earl here **is **evil. Which is why he's going along with putting Kanda in an institute so easily. _


	10. Cliche High School Parties

_Short and cliche, but I couldn't resist. and man, one review last chapter? C'mon guys, I thought you liked this at least a little bit..._

_maybe not._

**Summary: **An innocent game of spin the bottle goes wrong… Or does it?****

**Rating: T+**

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><p><em>Ficlet #10:<em>

**_Cliche High School Parties_**

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"Okay, guys, kiss now!"

Two simultaneous groans echoed throughout the room, along with a chorus of giggles. Allen Walker, a fifteen-year-old sophomore and the youngest male of the group raised one white eyebrow slowly. "Do we have to?" Lavi, who was seventeen, a senior, and the guy he apparently had to kiss, made a noise in the back of his throat.

"I'm hurt, Allen-chan!" The redhead held a hand to his chest and made a sad expression. "But yeeeeeah, you may be cute, but I'm just not into kissing _guys. _If ya know what I mean!" And in case he didn't, Lavi gave a sultry wink (from what Allen could tell, anyway) and waggled his eyebrows at the curvy female sitting next to him.

"No offense taken, Lavi," Allen assured with a chuckle.

Lenalee whined loudly, clasping her hands together and making the most outrageous puppy-dog eyes Allen had ever seen. "Aww, but you guys have to! It's spin the bottle!"

"No," both males said at the same time, deadpan. "I would rather kiss Kanda," Allen added after another moment of the puppy-dog eyes staring at him.

It was then that all noise seemed to stop. Every girl and every boy in the small hotel room was silent, and so Allen squeaked, "What?"

"You… want to kiss Kanda?" Lenalee couldn't believe her ears. Allen _was _talking about Yuu Kanda, of course – the tall eighteen-year-old Japanese senior, right? There was no other Kanda that went to their school, of course.

"Eh?" If it was even possible, Allen paled. "No, no, no! you've got it all wrong!" He waved his hands in front of his face frantically, feeling the venomous aura behind him make the hair on the back of his neck prickle. 'I didn't say I _wanted _to kiss him; I said I would _rather _kiss him. You see?" He laughed nervously.

"Once again, I'm hurt…" Lavi muttered.

"Am I not good enough for you to want to kiss me, beansprout?"

Allen froze, slowly turning around to face Kanda with a small smile and flat, narrowed eyes. "Why, of course, Kanda. Maybe if you changed your attitude, things would be different."

Many _"ooohs" _escaped the lips of the other teenagers in the room, and Kanda raised one eyebrow.

Lavi elbowed Lenalee lightly in the side. "Ooh, look, Allen-chan is standing up to Yuu-chan!"

"It's Allen!"

"Call me that again and I'll be sure to stab Mugen up your ass, idiot rabbit."

Allen's silver eyes glinted mischievously. "Are you gay, Kanda?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, stupid beansprout?"

Sensing the murderous atmosphere, Lenalee intervened with a nervous laugh. "Okay, time to get on with the game. Come on, Allen, kiss Kanda."

"What?" Allen exclaimed frantically, looking at Lenalee like she was crazy. "No!"

"You have to kiss _someone_." Lenalee sighed, exasperated. "You can't kiss me because we all know Komui would find out somehow. You already said no to Lavi, so only Kanda is left. That is, unless you want to kiss a stranger."

Apparently, many of the girls would've liked that.

"Dammit, beansprout, quit being such a pussy. It's just a kiss!" Kanda growled, and before Allen had time to be shocked about his nonchalance, the Japanese man grabbed his tie and yanked him forward.

Their lips connected roughly, and since Allen's eyes were still wide open, he was surprised to find Kanda's own midnight orbs slide shut. After a moment he let his shut, too, and he responded to the lips sliding over his own.

Allen fisted his hands through the other boy's long ponytail, and he couldn't help the small moan that escaped his lips.

Lenalee, Lavi, and all the other teenagers watched, half-horrified, half-shocked, and only slightly turned on (though no one would admit it) as the two boys made out.

"Um… beansprout? Yuu?" Lavi coughed awkwardly, and even the detested names didn't get their attention. "You guys? You can stop now…"

Allen's eyes opened for only a moment though he still slid his tongue across Kanda's, and they flickered to Lavi. Allen winked, closed his eyes again, and tilted his head back to deepen the kiss. Lo and behold, Kanda was a damn great kisser, and like hell Allen was going to stop. He'd just gotten started.

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	11. By Chance

_Longest one so far. More of a one-shot, actually. I'm not sure how I feel about this one - kinda nervous to post it... It's my first "explicit" scene. -_-;_

_**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M! It contains non-con (rape), so beware!**_

_**The only reason I didn't rate this whole story as M is because this, so far, is the only one rated M. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to say so in a review or PM. You have been warned, so if this is something you don't want to read, skip it. **_

**Summary: Two weeks after graduation, there was a party – everyone was invited, no matter their grade or age, and so the party had many different beginnings and many different endings. This is how it transpired for Allen Walker.**

**Rating: M**

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><p><em>Ficlet #11:<em>

**_By Chance_**

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Two weeks after graduation, there was a party. This part was held by none other than Lavi, an eccentric redhead with too many friends to count. Everyone was invited, no matter their grade or age, and so the party had many different beginnings and many different endings.

This is how it transpired for Allen Walker.

_- - - /_

"There is absolutely no way you're going to get me to drink alcohol, Lavi," Allen Walker, high school sophomore–soon-to-be-junior, muttered. The music booming loudly throughout the house drowned out many voices, and the two boys were squished so closely together that they were able to speak somewhat-normally.

Lavi's grin just widened as he shoved the plastic cup of beer into the younger's mismatched, unwilling hands. "I'm not even old enough–" Allen tried to protest, but was interrupted by Lavi's laugh.

"You should know that half of the people at this party aren't old enough to drink," the redhead added, as if that would make the sophomore feel better about it.

"But I…"

"Ah, now I know why you won't drink," Lavi started, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "You're a wimp and you can't handle it. I bet you'd get drunk off of one beer anyway – 'cause you're a wimp."

The words struck exactly where Lavi had meant them to, and Allen immediately bristled. "Jerk! I can handle something as little as _one beer!_" His silver-gray orbs eyes the light-colored liquid in his hands for a moment, before sighing. _One couldn't hurt, I guess…_

Allen took a big gulp and tried not to gag. "This tastes like shit," he said dully. So, Allen did the sensible thing and plugged his nose and downed the rest.

"Man, you had to plug your nose to drink it?" Lavi observed with a snort. "See, weak, I told you!" He then grabbed another cup for himself. Allen scowled, grabbed the drink out of Lavi's hand, and drank it all too.

Wiping his mouth, he raised his head and said proudly, "There, happy now?" His head was already getting a little fuzzy, and his whole body felt warm; but it was a nice feeling. Maybe alcohol wasn't as bad as he had thought it was.

Lavi smirked and looked at his 'work'–an already-tipsy Allen with flushed cheeks–and mentally patted himself on the back. "Very," he said with a nod and offered another beer to the boy, who took it gratefully. Lavi shoved the thought in the back of his mind that he had to make sure Allen got a safe ride home after the party.

"Alright, Al, well you should go have fun!" Lavi shouted over the music as he went to turn away. Allen looked up at him in confusion.

"You're… leaving?"

"I gotta go make sure no one has trashed my house," the other reminded him, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "If I don't, Gramps will be sure to kill me."

Allen looked troubled for a moment, and then he nodded in understanding. "I'll go look for Lenalee." He turned on his heel and waved vaguely at Lavi, who just rolled his eyes in amusement and walked in the opposite direction.

__- - - /__

About 45 minutes later, Lavi found Allen again, but it was definitely not what he'd expected. "Holy shit, Al, you're pretty good at that!"

Allen Walker, who was now on his 7th beer, was grinding against a senior – a sexy, normally-stoic senior, whose name happened to be Yuu Kanda.

Said senior had his hands gripped loosely on Allen's hips and was guiding Allen as he rolled his hips around Kanda's groin roughly, changing from quick to slow and teasing depending on the tempo of the music. There was a wide smirk on Kanda's face, and Allen's eyes were closed, but whether it was in concentration or pleasure Lavi wasn't too sure.

The redhead wasn't the only one who watched with their mouth agape and eyes practically falling out of their sockets – many people had backed away to give space to the two males who were very obviously into it and in their own little world.

Just by the looks on Allen and Kanda's faces, Lavi did _not _want to know what was on their mind. But, as Allen's silver eyes cracked open and he pulled away from the other, Lavi would clearly see what Kanda was thinking of just by the bulge in his pants.

"Ooh, Yuu-chan, I think you have a little problem," Lavi chided knowingly with a mischievous grin. Kanda scowled and flipped him the finger.

"If you had him rubbing against _your _dick for a half hour, you would have the exact same _'problem'_," Kanda retorted, pulling the dazed Allen closer. "But, at least _I've _got a remedy."

"Oh, man, please tell me your _'remedy' _is masturbation," Lavi murmured, glancing at Allen as he started drinking his 8th beer.

"Nope." Kanda didn't elaborate any further, and started leading Allen upstairs. Allen looked over his shoulder, waggled his eyebrows, and gave Lavi a thumbs-up.

"Me 'n Kanda are gon'a fuck," Allen sang bluntly, his words distorted not only by his drunken slur, but his significantly heavier accent. The redhead just sighed and shook his head.

Allen didn't remember much between walking up the stairs and ending up in a bedroom, but he supposed it didn't matter. He slowly looked over at Kanda, who was ridding himself of his pants and button-up shirt. Allen figured that he was smiling, but he really couldn't be sure. "So, what now?" He asked cheerfully, taking a few moments to admire the man and look him up and down. _**Damn, **__Kanda is __**hot.**_

"You suck me off," Kanda stated nonchalantly, crossing his arms and staring at Allen expectantly. "And then I fuck you."

Allen didn't so much as flinch at the bluntness of Kanda's words – he'd known the Japanese man for a few years now, and it didn't unnerve him that they were going from "frienimies" to having sex in one night.

Allen stared at him for a moment before shrugging. "Alright."

As he sauntered over, it occurred to him that, though it was his first time with any kind of sexual encounter, it was as if nervousness wasn't even part of his emotional range at the moment.

Kanda was already naked by the time Allen sat on his knees in front of him, and he glanced at Kanda for a moment innocently before looking at his length. Cautiously opening his mouth, he took it as deep as his throat allowed him – and suddenly, he thanked Lavi for his perverted mind that had, though no matter how unwilling Allen was at the time, supplied him with helpful _(sexual) _information.

Allen wrapped his hand around the base of Kanda's member and experimentally bobbed his head back and forth. Hearing the light, pleased groan, he took that as a sign that he was doing pretty good so far. Allen's tongue slid over the underside of Kanda and around the tip, and then curiously flicked inside the slit.

"Mmm," Kanda murmured in approval and fisted his hands in Allen's mop of white hair. "For a beginner, you're not half-bad at this, beansprout."

Allen just hummed deeply in reply, which caused Kanda to jerk. He continued to bob his head back and forth quickly and slide his hand up and down around Kanda's cock, and after a few minutes Kanda pushed his head down to get himself deeper in Allen's mouth.

The Japanese man felt Allen's mouth repeatedly constrict around him, and he realized that Allen was gagging. His smirk widened, and he continued to push Allen down on his length, until he finally reached completion. The younger of the two had no choice but to swallow Kanda's cum, and he pulled back from him with a small pop.

"You practically choked me to death," Allen muttered with a half-hearted glare, to which Kanda just shrugged.

"Get up," he demanded, and so Allen stood, albeit a bit unsteadily. The older teen pushed him toward the bed, and as soon as Allen fell rather ungracefully on it, Kanda started ripping off his clothes.

Allen, now prone on the bed and at Kanda's mercy, grabbed his ponytail and pulled him down for a sloppy kiss. Kanda bit onto the white-haired boy's bottom lip, causing him to open his mouth with a gasp that was drowned out by their connected lips. His tongue plunged into the hot cavern, his taste buds assaulted with a mixture of beer, something very sweet which he assumed to be candy, and the Japanese's own cum.

Kanda pulled away for a moment and muttered, "You taste like shit."

Allen only laughed. "That's what I said earlier about the beer." Kanda didn't respond, and instead pulled the tight fitted tee that the other was wearing, over his head. After it was discarded to the side of the bed, off went his pants and boxers in one swift pull downwards. And suddenly, they were both very naked and very aware of that fact.

Before Allen could make any kind of comment or protest, Kanda was licking and sucking and biting on his neck. "A-ah that… feels nice, Yuu…" A particularly rough bite caused him to yelp, and his fingers tightened on the other's ponytail. "What the hell was that for?"

"It's Kanda," he growled, and now he was just biting and pinching at Allen's skin. Reaching his nipples, he bit down harshly on the left, watching in amusement as blood started bubbling up to the wound.

"Ow, Kanda, you jerk!" Allen hissed, yanking harder on the senior's hair and watching as a few black strands slipped through his fingers. "That hurts, stop biting me – _ah!"_ The cool hand on his member made him jolt and squirm from the unfamiliar touch.

Kanda smirked. "Shut up. All I want to hear out of your mouth is screams and moans, got it?" Allen nodded, staring at Kanda with wide silver eyes. "Good. Now, this is your first time, right?"

Allen couldn't help it as his cheeks reddened drastically, and he looked away to any place in the room but Kanda. "Um, yes…"

Kanda's cobalt eyes narrowed and his smirk grew bigger. "Don't worry, beansprout, I've dealt with people like _you."_

The way he said _'people like you' _made Allen feel vaguely insulted, but he said nothing to avoid his wrath.

"Suck," the Japanese said, snapping Allen out of his jumbled thoughts long enough to blink before three fingers were shoved between his swollen lips. He looked up at Kanda as his tongue wrapped around the digits and quickly coated them in saliva, while Kanda found himself getting hard at the sight.

After a moment of Allen licking and lightly biting his fingers, Kanda pulled them out and tried not to pay attention to the string of saliva connecting them to Allen's lips. The beansprout could be fucking annoying sometimes, but others…

Kanda didn't want to finish that particular thought, and instead spread Allen's legs apart and pushed one slick finger in. Allen squirmed, but the other male didn't pay any notice to his discomfort and slid another in quickly.

Allen winced, and a frown crossed his face as Kanda started to scissor his fingers impatiently inside of him. The last finger was pushed through the tight ring of muscle, and this time there was a small throb of pain. "Kanda…" he began to whine, but the senior only glared and pulled his fingers out.

The sophomore almost sighed in relief, until he saw Kanda position himself in front of him, and then he felt something much bigger than fingers pushing demandingly against his entrance. "Wait, Kand– aaaah!" The rest of his name was broken off as the younger screamed.

Kanda just grunted at the sudden change of attitude and pushed himself as deep as he could. "You're so fucking _tight,_" he forced out, waved of pleasure washing over him as he pulled out and thrust back in. He felt the beansprout's walls clench tightly, trying to force him out, and he moaned.

The Japanese continued to thrust mercilessly, until he realized it was significantly easier to move. Kanda slowed his pace, noticing two things; Allen was either unconscious or close to it, and he was bleeding.

He smirked so wide that his teeth glimmered in the dim lighting of the room, and pulled out only to flip Allen onto his stomach. Kanda lifted the lower half of his body so that his ass was sticking up in the air, and then he continued to pound into the now-unconscious boy so hard that the headboard slammed into the wall.

As he neared his finishing point, one final, quick thrust made him shiver as he released into the boy and pulled out. Allen fell limp onto the bed, and Kanda pushed him back over and hit him hard across the face, effectively waking him up.

"Up, 'sprout, I'm done." Kanda started getting dressed, and Allen, dazed and wondering what the hell had just happened, just laid on the bed and stared at him. Once Kanda was dressed, he threw Allen's clothes at him and ordered him to get dressed too.

Sitting up caused his backside to protest in pain, but it wasn't bad, so getting his shirt on was an easy task. Getting his pants on was a whole different scenario.

After trying and failing at least four times to stand, Allen eased down on his back and slowly wiggled his pants up. He ignored the stickiness of blood and semen that dripped down his thighs, and after what seemed like an hour, finally got the piece of clothing on.

Kanda was just staring at him. "What?" Allen snapped, and Kanda raised an eyebrow.

"Go get that stupid rabbit and tell him to come here." Allen wanted to retort – to tell Kanda to get off his lazy ass and do it himself because he obviously couldn't _walk _at the moment – but something about Kanda made him scared now.

Maybe it was just his imagination, but now _everything _about Kanda made him shiver. The glare that had become something Allen was accustomed to seemed to appear more sinister, and the scowl seemed angrier than he'd ever seen it.

Allen stood again, and though the throbbing quickly turned to a piercing, angry pain, he clenched his teeth and used the wall as support. He could feel Kanda's eyes follow him down the hallway, and he would've bet any amount of money he had that the man was staring at his ass.

The stairs were a horrible obstacle, and took him a few minutes to get down one alone. Luckily, he didn't have to search too far for Lavi, who came bounding up to him with a grin.

"Oh, hey Al! You okay?" The redhead looked the small boy up and down, noticing his limp and the grimace on his face.

"I'm fine. I just… drank too much, I think." Allen waved off Lavi's inquiries, and for the first time he realized that he wasn't as drunk as he was earlier. "Kanda wants you, by the way. He's in the last bedroom at the end of the hall."

"Of course you guys did it in _my _bedroom," he heard Lavi mutter as he walked up the stairs.

Allen just faintly shook his head, and his stomach turned violently and unexpectedly as he rushed to the nearest bathroom. He barely made it as he spilled all of the contents of his stomach into the toilet, which happened to be beer.

He must've been in the bathroom for at least ten minutes, and now he was just dry-heaving. This night was quickly going downhill, and whether it was God giving him another slap in the face, this bathroom was conveniently placed just underneath the room Kanda and Lavi were currently in.

"_Ohh, Yuu…"_

Was he just hallucinating now? Was he still heavily drunk? Allen looked up, and saw the vent just above the toilet. With a frown, he pushed the lid of the toilet down and clambered onto it. Now significantly closer to the vent, he could hear everything clearer.

When he said everything, he meant _everything, _including the things he wished he didn't hear – like skin slapping against skin and throaty moans, for instance.

"_Ah, yes, Yuu, faster!"_

Allen immediately turned away from the vent and shut his eyes, and after another loud cry he left the bathroom. Was he not good enough? Was that why Kanda was now fucking his best friend in the same room that he had just practically _raped _him in only minutes ago?

His blood was boiling from many things. Anger, shame, jealously, and betrayal were only a few of the emotions he was currently feeling, and his memory returned to him fast and reluctantly as he tried – unsuccessfully – to keep his tears at bay.

"_You're so fucking __**tight**__," Kanda groaned, and Allen only clench his teeth tighter at the searing pain in his ass. The friction was horrible and uncomfortable, but Allen tried to ignore it. Maybe this was what sex was like when it was your first time, Allen assumed. Plus, Kanda seemed to be enjoying it – and with a tiny smile, Allen realized that he liked what Kanda looked like now._

_Messy and sweaty and panting, Kanda was even more beautiful than Allen had ever seen him or ever thought he could possibly be. Dizzy from what he thought was too much alcohol, Allen's eyes started to close, and the last he saw was Kanda and the last he thought was; __**goddamn, Kanda is the most beautiful person I have ever seen.**_

_He really regretted letting his eyes flutter and close._

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><p><em>Feedback would be greatly appreciated cause I'm a bit iffy about this. Thanks guys!<em>


	12. Hypnosis

_Eh. -_- Not my favorite, but whatevs. Not much to say._

**Summary: **When playing the piano, it was almost like he was in a trance. It was never as easy to stop playing as it was to start.****

**Rating: T**

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><p><em>Ficlet #12:<em>

**_Hypnosis_**

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For a while, Allen just stared at the piano. He stood and stared, his eyes blank and his hands clenched in fists at his sides. Kanda pulled up his fist, and in an uncharacteristic gesture, sweetly kissed Allen's knuckles.

Allen started, his eyes suddenly gaining life again as he blinked and turned to look at the Japanese man. Kanda said quietly, "Go on," and Allen smiled and nodded. He walked forward slowly and sat down on the bench, staring at the ivory white keys that glistened in the dim sunlight filtering through the windows.

Hesitantly, he pressed on three white keys and listened to the sound they made. C minor. Beautiful.

"Kanda, could you…" Allen trailed off, biting his lip. "I could like to be alone – if you don't mind." He scrambled to find the right words as to not offend the other man, who only smirked and walked out of the room.

Allen took a deep breath, and started playing. _Kiss the Rain _filled his ears, and he smiled serenely. He always felt so alive when he played the piano. He never wanted to stop. Before he knew it, his fingers were flying over the keys quickly, playing a song even he did not know.

Allen's eyes drifted in and out of focus and became half-lidded, until all he heard was music. All he saw was music; notes and chords drifted across his vision as if his brain was a projector, and time was nonexistent. It could've been minutes or hours or days and Allen would not know. He was oblivious to the world.

Every now and again, his vision would focus back on the piano keys, though they were no longer white. They were a bright scarlet, and Allen wanted to look away, but he couldn't. He felt tears; fat and sticky, roll down his cheeks, and his tongue flicked up to taste them.

He expected them to taste salty, but was instead presented with a metallic flavor. Blood, Allen realized subconsciously, but it didn't fully register in his mind, and so he didn't really care.

Only moments afterwards, everything went black.

_- - - /_

_Allen… Allen… Allen. _He opened his eyes, blinking them up into Kanda's own midnight blue orbs. It only took two seconds to register that Kanda was shaking him and yelling his name, and only ten seconds to realize that he was covered in blood.

"What?" He questioned dumbly, cocking his head at the samurai. Once Allen had spoken, Kanda sighed and stopped shaking him.

"You were in here for two hours, you know," Kanda started quietly. Allen swallowed and nodded for him to continue. "I came in because I was worried. You were playing the piano like crazy, and your fingers and eyes were bleeding. You were just staring forward with this blank look in your eyes. I called your name, and you started to cough up blood. It wasn't until I pulled your fingers away from the piano and started shaking you that you snapped out of it and stopped bleeding," Kanda concluded, and Allen stared at him for a moment before sliding off the piano bench onto his knees.

"This… this is why I stopped playing," Allen murmured dejectedly. "It's wonderful, at first, when I'm playing. It makes me feel alive." He stopped, staring past Kanda with a frown. He felt the tears start to gently slide down his cheeks, though this time they didn't feel like the bloodied ones that trailed there only minutes earlier.

"I'm so–" Allen sniffled, hanging his head. "I'm sorry. I'm afraid one day I might unconsciously hurt someone."

Kanda averted his eyes and reached for Allen, pulling the boy to his chest and rubbing small circles on his back. "You won't have to worry about that. Worry about _you. _You're… you're only a danger to yourself, Allen."

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	13. Perception

_I'm running out of stuff already. -_- I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately, so this is kinda... eh. Sorry. Everything is just been really shitty._

_Anyway! I hope you guys enjoy!_

**Summary: **It began with a Sunday and ended with another, one week later.****_  
><em>

****Rating: T****

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><p><em>Fanfic #13:<em>

**_Perception_**

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It was a lazy Sunday afternoon when it began. They were relaxing on Allen's back porch, with his head resting on Kanda's lap. He looked down and managed a small smile, and was thankful that Allen was looking at him.

"How do you tell someone you don't love them anymore?" Kanda murmured, staring out into the woods just beyond their reach. Allen's head shot up and he looked at Kanda with wide doe eyes – scared, shocked, cautious. The Japanese man just shook his head and pushed Allen back onto his lap. "Quit looking at me like that," he snapped, but there was no bite behind his words. "I never said I was talking about you."

Allen did not look relieved. In fact, he almost looked like he was contemplating between crying and yelling. "Are you cheating on me?" The person in question snorted and smirked, but it didn't hold the usual hint of amusement.

If Allen had looked close enough, he would've seen the sadness pooling in Kanda's dark eyes. "You're an idiot," he said, flicking Allen between his eyes. "No, the stupid rabbit asked me for advice and he won't stop bitching. I had no idea how to answer that so I decided to ask you, since you're part girl and all."

"Am not," the white-haired boy replied meekly. "Wait, Lavi's in love?" Allen peered at Kanda skeptically; having sat himself next to the latter instead of placing himself on his lap again.

Kanda rolled his eyes, and they flickered to Allen as the wind began to pick up. His hair fluttered around his face like snow and stars and suddenly, his body looked five times younger but his eyes looked indefinitely older. He was a wise man trapped in a child's body, and it almost hurt to look at him because he looked ethereal. So he went back to gazing at the woods, where every animal seemed to have the same expression as Allen. Kanda felt oddly out of place. Did he look the same as them?

"Lavi is always _in love_."

"It sounds kind of serious…" Allen argued, and Kanda only shrugged, but he didn't look at him because he did not want to see the mystifying wisdom in his moonlit eyes. "I mean, I don't know," he started again. "And I hope I won't ever have to." The doe-eyed look had faded away, though now it was back, but he tried his hardest to hide it and poked Kanda playfully on his cheek. "I guess, if I ever had to be in that situation, I would do it gently. I would say it in person, because you always say things like that in person." Allen's eyes started to shine brightly and Kanda couldn't tell if it was because of the sadness or the knowledge that was too much for him to understand.

With an inaudible sigh, he waved for Allen to rest on him again, and he did. Allen stuffed his face in Kanda's jacket and took shaking breaths. "Bring roses," he continued unsteadily, and Kanda hadn't expected him to, but Allen always surprised him. "Because they're the most beautiful flower.

"And even though they symbolize love, it shows that… you still care. Just not enough." Allen didn't resume, and so Kanda stayed silent because he didn't know what to say. He looked down to the small boy in his arms, and his eyes traced the fluff of white hair – the smooth, pale complexion of his neck, and realized that he should've never asked that question in the first place.

"You'll never leave, right?" The British boy spoke up suddenly. Kanda could clearly hear the wavering of his voice, and he didn't know what to think. He kept picturing the doe-eyes versus the eyes filled with infinite understanding, and he wasn't sure which one was the Allen that he was talking to right now. "You won't stop loving me?"

Kanda fought against the words that were trying to escape, and instead found it in himself to say, "Of course not."

-/

It was the next Sunday morning that Allen woke up to roses and a note on his doorstep.

He couldn't comprehend what made him angrier – the fact that Kanda couldn't tell him in person, or that he had lied to him.

The note did nothing but make his heart hurt, and so he burned it, because he was the man who knew everything and he was the boy who knew close to nothing at all.

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	14. Pedophobia

_So sorry for such a long wait, everyone! The last month of school is always the worst - I had to study for finals and do all these crazy things because teachers think it's okay to pile shit on us at the end of the year. And I haven't had wifi cause my neighbors decided to take theirs down... so I couldn't steal it... *snaps fingers* And I just got a job at Cold Stone. BUSY! But, anyway, this one is a funny one (rare for me since I normally suck at those), so I hope you guys like it! I got the idea for it when I was at the mall with my little sister at one of those giant play things. People never watch their kids there - they think they can just sit on their phones while their kids wreak havoc and attempt to kill any other children within a ten foot radius._

__**Pedophobia – the fear of children.**__

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><p><strong><em>Pedophobia<em>**

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"I fucking hate kids," Kanda muttered heatedly, glancing at the many children that ran around chaotically. Allen glanced at him in what he assumed to be horror, but really the beansprout's face was just so messed up that he couldn't even distinguish his facial expressions anymore.

"Kanda!" He scolded, hitting the older male quite roughly on the arm. "How could you say that?"

Kanda just snorted and rolled his eyes. "Because I meant it, fucktard." Allen pursed his lips and pulled Kanda closer to the playplace, and the latter couldn't help but flinch as the noise of kids screaming got louder. "Don't tell me you're taking me in there…"

"Okay, I won't tell you," Allen replied charmingly with a malicious grin that completely contradicted his tone of voice. He yanked Kanda through the entrance, but Kanda kept pulling back. And once Allen realized that he couldn't just _drag him in, _he came up with a better plan. "If you don't come in here with me right now, no sex for a week."

The Japanese man froze and assessed Allen skeptically. "You wouldn't dare."

"Your loss, not mine," Allen replied flippantly, inspecting his fingernails on the hand that wasn't currently holding Kanda's. So Kanda had no choice but to reluctantly follow Allen, because "no sex for a week" was something that he couldn't handle.

They were suddenly thrown into a chaotic warzone of children kicking or screaming or pushing or God knows what else. "Beansprout, if you don't get me out of here within 10 seconds, I'm going to kill all of these… things."

Allen chuckled nervously, but he held his ground (also while whispering, "no sex for a week," but Kanda decided to temporarily ignore that and cross that bridge when he got to it). "I have to show you that they really aren't that bad. I'm not lying, I promise. You're just being overdramatic."

"I really don't give a shit."

Allen's small smile did a complete 180, and he glared at Kanda before turning on his heel. The white-haired boy took to approach a little girl, who looked quite a bit like Kanda. She was constantly pushing other kids out of the way so she could slide down the large slide placed in the middle of the playground.

As he towered over her (silently cheering in the back of his mind that he was quite a bit taller than her – not that he would say anything to Kanda), he asked politely, "Excuse me, miss, but do you think you could be nicer to everyone else?"

For a moment she was silent and stared up at Allen with wide black eyes. Then, she started to cry and Allen's smile faltered as she bolted away from him. "Mommy," she sobbed, "A creepy old man is talking to me!"

Allen turned back to Kanda, who was looking fairly smug, and sighed. "That didn't count," he muttered quickly and twisted around to find another misbehaving child. He found one – another girl that was climbing up around the seats and anywhere else humanly possible. With newfound courage, Allen strode over to her and called up, "Uhm, miss? Excuse me, little girl!"

Finally she noticed he was talking to her, and she stopped and crossed her arms. "What?" she asked rudely, pursing her lips.

Allen didn't falter though, and pressed on. "Could you please get down from there?" He looked over his shoulder and was satisfied to see Kanda watching intently.

The girl looked up and appeared as if she was thinking deeply about it, and then stuck out her tongue. "Nope, fuck you."

Allen stood back, shocked that a little girl would say such a thing, let alone know what that word meant. "Excuse me?" He repeated – obviously, he had heard her wrong.

"_Excuse me?" _She mocked. "You heard me. I said fuck… _you."_ She hopped off of the wall surrounding the play place and headed straight for Allen with a smile too sweet to be real. The older of the two looked over his shoulder again at Kanda, who was smirking with his eyebrows slightly raised. Allen scowled in response; leave it to Kanda to be an ass.

Just as Allen turned to look at the little girl, she was surprisingly close and before he could react, she rose a fist and promptly punched him… well, where the sun don't shine. Allen tried not to cry out as he fell to his knees, and what pissed him off was that the girl that he had thought was an innocent child walked past him and jumped on the wall on the other side of the play place.

"Bloody Hell," Allen hissed under his breath as Kanda's feet came into view. He peered up, though still crouched in an almost-fetal position, to Kanda who was practically grinning. Allen saw his shoulders shake slightly in silent laugh, and Allen swore that if he weren't currently surrounded by children that he would give Kanda the finger. But alas, he was a gentleman through and through, so he held back the urge.

"How do you feel about kids now, 'sprout?" Kanda questioned, all too smug for Allen's liking.

"Everyone just hates me today."

"So… can we have sex when we get home?" Leave it to Kanda to plow straight through the question – which was what it technically was, but whether Allen really _wanted _to didn't matter. Which pretty much meant that, yes, they were going to have sex.

However, Allen didn't give in very easily, because he was just a stubborn jerk sometimes, and he could be almost as bad as Kanda. He tried to ignore the glares and disgusted looks from the parents surrounding him, and he said pointedly, "Kanda… we're in the middle of a children's play area, you know."

"I didn't say I wanted to do it here. Are you deaf?"

"No… I meant that you shouldn't be saying that here in front of all these kids."

"Fuck the kids."

Allen deemed himself able to stand finally, and he refused the urge to slap a hand to his face in embarrassment. "You know what? I hope you get arrested some day."

"Fuck the police."

"You are a perfect example of a kid at their worst. Stubborn, mean, sarcastic, absolutely no filter for their words…"

Kanda snorted, but didn't look very impressed. "So, you're pretty much implying that kids suck."

Allen deadpanned. "Where did you get that from?" The Japanese man said nothing, so he continued. "I'm just saying that kids are difficult to get along with – like you – and can be pretty annoying. Like you. And stubborn and mean and everything in between… Like you. But they're also loveable and cute and cuddly." Allen paused, but looked at Kanda with a smile. "See where I'm going with this?"

The older teen's eyebrows shot upwards. "Did you just insult me and then practically call me a teddy bear?" Allen shrugged.

'This doesn't change my opinion at all, beansprout."

"You're an arse through and through, BaKanda."

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